........ Which Wolf Will You Feed? ........
Just yesterday we were in New Mexico.
It's been a hell of a long day, two days in a row.
Carlsbad was a bust because New Mexico shut down the day we arrived. No caverns open... which was the point of going there.
Crossing Texas... we left NM at 10 am and didn't arrive at our camp spot until almost 8 pm (thanks to crossing time zones and shitty roads) ... only to find out that one of the cats (we're sure it was one of the sisters) took a MASSIVE ...
AND I MEAN M.A.S.S.I.V.E. dog sized 💩 on our bed.
One pillow lost. One set of sheets - and possibly the comforter - destroyed.
So that needed cleaned up before we delivered the Words Matter portrait (the whole reason we headed to that part of Texas). We finally arrived at Margy's home about 9:30. After talking with her for a few hours, we headed home (stopping to try Whataburger ... beats In-N-Out HANDS DOWN). Finally settling in at home at 12:30... falling asleep around 2 am.
The cats no longer get free reign while we travel. Unfortunately 2 suffer because of one but we cannot have them pooping in our bed. Little shits.
So, we had to figure out if we could load everything and keep the studio for closed for the drive.
It was a squeeze getting our bicycles in there through the studio door, but Jordan got it and the cats were locked in the back with my art for the trip.
Shitty roads again. Louisiana has some of the worst roads we've driven.
That, coupled with little sleep (we were up at 7:30 am ... and I didn't sleep well ... and this girl NEEDS her sleep) and lack of a good breakfast and cup of java... I may have lost my cool when navigation got all screwy.
Weird things were happening with the truck computer and my phone after we ate at an AMAZING Texas BBQ joint (an extra hour drive but soooo with it - if you're ever in Tyler, TX go to Stanley's Famous Pit Barbecue).
We finally arrived in our spot in Louisiana at 7-ish.
Parking in the dark... in a back in spot... between trees... after 12 hours is not great fun.
But, we're settled in.
Tomorrow, we will go see my Papa's birth town... his mom's gravesite (I never got to meet her, she died when he was little)... and whatever else we feel led to explore.
Tonight, we're going to relax and watch a movie, The New Mutants. We deserve it after two long days.
The movie starts by talking about an old Indian proverb. This... they call it the two bears but, there's a Cherokee Legend about the two wolves...
"An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. 'A fight is going on inside me,' he said to the boy.
'It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.'
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, 'Which wolf will win?'
The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'"
YOU choose which part of you that you feed. Are you full of anger, frustration, negativity? Starve these. Stop feeding it and you will find yourself full of peace.
Today, I focused on all the wrong things. I focused on the frustrations...I fed my anger. I fed my fear (seriously...I was afraid the rough roads were going to tear the trailer - our HOME - apart).
I did that. I chose to feed that wolf. Just as I did most of my life - when I felt I wasn't good enough. I fed that. Sometimes by myself... sometimes by the people I chose to surround me.
It happens. It's easy to slip into old patterns. Strength and growth comes in recognizing it and moving forward.
Which wolf will you feed?
I could focus on the trials of the last few days... or I could focus on the amazing life we live.
Which wolf do you think I'll choose to feed?
I had a dream that I was traveling all over the world. In less than 6 months, I sold almost everything I own...bought a Toy Hauler (the "garage" is my art studio) and am now living wherever, whenever...just me, my art, and my cats.