Becca

When Becca first started developing strong feelings of depression and anxiety she didn't understand it and didn't know how to handle it. At age 13, she began doing drugs. At the time, a skewed reality made more sense than her “normal” behavior. Scars from self-inflicted lacerations and burns cover her body. She hated herself. In high school, Becca was diagnosed Bipolar with abandonment issues and separation anxiety (a result of her mother leaving and her birth father giving her up for adoption). Finally, everything started to make more sense. She still self-harmed for a long time and often skipped her medication, which made things worse. Then, bullying became extreme. Everything was confusing and the bullying made it unbearable. Her family put her on official suicide watch. It wasn’t until she saw her birth father, for the first time in 14 years, that she started to feel better again. He also had bipolar disorder. He was happy and in love with a great woman, which Becca had always worried about. She wondered, “who would love someone so erratic, unreliable and impulsive?” However, she didn’t fully start to feel better until she changed her mind set. For years, she thought “I AM bipolar.” She identified herself as her mental illness. She realizes now that she is a young woman with goals, love and experiences who happens to HAVE bipolar disorder. She is not made up of it. It is not her as a whole. Becca has not self-harmed since 2012, she takes her medication regularly and feels better than she has in years.