November 05th, 2019

Day 26 (photo above from a drive in the Smoky Mountains)
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I spent the day working. All day long. Besides the noises of an RV park (there's always vehicle sounds... this one happens to also have trucks nearby so the beeping as they reverse is kinda obnoxious), there really was nothing different about this existence yesterday from the last 41 years living in "sticks and bricks" (an RVer called a house that...I liked it). This life has its own vocabulary. The more I interact, the more I learn.

I have yet to meet another full timer. So far its been a lot of people just passing through... but I've been passing through too. Aren't we all just passing through, in one way or another? It's when we take time to BE that we reach a destination.

It's strange. The realization that this is my life. That I can pack up everything I own in 30ish minutes and move to another town, another state, hell ... another country if I wanted.

Like a feather on the breeze. Constantly in motion.

However, it's unlike a feather because I choose. I get to choose when I move (granted, a lot of my moves have been because the park didn't have room for me longer). I decide if I let the winds shift me to the next destination.

I decide.

Right now, my decisions are being guided by the weather. I really am ready for warmth. My sister said "you sound like a snow bird already." 🤣

Well, I just might be. I have a bin, in the back of my truck, full of my snow gear. But, I'm not planning on using it. Not this winter. I've decided I am ready for warm adventures. For sand and surf.

I was hoping for a spot right on the beach. But, those are reserved over a year in advance at some places. At least I'll be a short walk from the beach. I know, some are thinking "rough life... she didn't get her beach spot." But, besides the noises of the park, this constantly moving is a very quiet - some may say lonely - existence.

I look forward to making real connections. To sitting around a new friend's campfire "shooting the shit." To making new friends. To conversation. I haven't had a real conversation with a person in my space for a while (I've talked on the phone, yes... it isn't the same). To holding someone I love - I am so full of love. And...

I'm a hugger. Did you know that there's been scientific research done on hugs. Your Modern family put an article out in February. In it, Psychotherapist Virginia Satir said: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” ( https://www.yourmodernfamily.com/science-says-hug-child-15-seconds/ )

12 hugs a day? Wow. I am sure there've been very few days in my life that I received 12 hugs in a day. Everyone needs them ... it's comfort for the soul (yes, even you non-huggers out there need them - it's a cosmic truth to this existence). It's been a while since I've gotten a hug. But, I'm not about to start hugging strangers. 😜 Someone I shared my story with last week gave me a hug... but hugging strangers is not the same.

Hmmm, perhaps that's another societal norm that is meant to be broken. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to go around hugging everyone I see (that just wouldn't be wise) but... if you've connected and conversed with someone... are they still a stranger?

Why shouldn't it feel the same as hugging an old friend?

Afterall, we're all connected. We're all here to grow. We're all here to love.

Over the last 23 years of my life, I've learned exactly what love isn't. My exes have taught me how NOT to treat a person (I almost said especially someone you love - but, again... the thought that "we're here to love ALL" popped in my heart). I thank my exes for what they did because it helped me get here. The physical, emotional and mental abuse I endured gave me the strength I needed to live this life.

I will do my best to share love with each and every living thing. Even the grass growing under my feet. Perhaps I'll go hug another tree. 😂

Love is all around. What makes a stranger? Societal norms have created this separation, perhaps its time for a shift. I want to Louvre out of love... not OUT of it (to clarify all caps = outside... the English language is fun). Not OUT of how I was created. But out of my truth. Out of the fact that we ARE all connected already. I've known many people who "never knew a stranger." Could you imagine what this existence would be like if we all lived that way? I kinda live that way, but obviously still don't because I'm not going to hug random people. At least not until I find that place where a huge shift has taken place...

Are you living out of love or are you OUT of love?

It's in you, it's enduring. It's unconditional. All you have to do is open up to it.

I am choosing to go paint some love now. So I'll talk again soon. I love you all (just don't like some of you 🤣). Have a beautiful day!